new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
