I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
