I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
