Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
