I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
