Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
