He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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