he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
