I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
