I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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