I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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