you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
