I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
