No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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