I hate all girls vehemently.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
