some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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