Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
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I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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