walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
