found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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