why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
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and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
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Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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