I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need to wash the frat house off of me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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