That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
