real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
