He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
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Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
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Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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