i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
