No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The power of my boobs compel you
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
