i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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