I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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