He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
