I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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