DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
