I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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