She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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