Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
