you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
