Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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