i need an iv and a liver transplant
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.