SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
