Don't make out with my wife yet
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
