I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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