you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
