I'd wear matching sweaters with you
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
