DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
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I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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