I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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