It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize