I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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