I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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