Ambien. No doubt about it.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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