So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
