Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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