Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
