Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
