I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize