We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
