I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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