I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
